What I discover or try to is the deepest emotions, what you call as instincts, so it rather does not have anything to do with how you behave in society, or how you might want others to percieve you... Then it goes a level higher! What I am trying to find out is our deepest thoughts and how they originate! I hope it answers my readers on my earlier lectures!
So how come I am treasuring myself? Why should I? When my thoughts don't go above the maslow's hierarchy pyramid's lowest floor... which is instinctive needs! Food, Shelter and Clothing! But when I really think of it, in some of my other writings, I have gone into spirituality and love, desire all on various floors of the pyramid!
So am I being opportunistic in trying to avoid a comment on my earlier post? Not really, the first paragraph is specifically to my last post! So now I discover something, that my thoughts are really wandering ones... not simply the name!
This thought came to me when I was travelling last day, I just looked up at the sky without my glasses (yeah I do wear one... not the big rimmed nerd brand ones, although I sound like one!), I wondered when I couldn't see the stars clearly, five years before when I had perfect eyesight, then I never even thought how precious they were!
Today I miss it... not able to see a charming young female walk on the other side of the street without gallelio's help! More so... now it is only shortsightedness, what if I need them to read? Ohhhhhhhh that will be a real pain! Although I need to wear them all the time, but I will be not have a choice... like now!
So I started wondering... what if I turn completely blind? Who will care for me? What if I am handicapped in someway in one fine day?(Now that can't be called a really fine day), Will the people who think so highly of me (yeah they do... I am not all that bad at work or in love!), will they be there for me?
If I think seriously, might be the ones I love, surely will stay along... but the people at work? For them I will be junk! They will throw me out as easily as a dysfunctional computer or a printer... where a change of catridge will cost as much as a the printer itself, or an upgrade of the chip will yield not much of results!
So now I think... am I insured enough? Yeah now this is not an advertisement for any insurance company? but it is just to realise... do we understand our worth? How will we support our loved ones when we are incapable? What is our fallback plan? I have learned in many negotiation skills classes about a fallback plan... A plan which will give you comfort and strength to negotiate, which means, what if I don't get what I want from this negotiation, what can I fall back on... Although I handle 5-10 negotiations a month for my company... do I have a fallback option for myself?
When I am negotiating my whole life, and life of many others who love me... Do I have a fallback option with which I can be comfortable, if my source of income stops completely one day?
When I think about it... it gets more and more tense... because I realise, I had never understood my real worth, hence I have never insured myself enough! My advise... Ponder! For a minute or two... just treasure yourself!