Monday, January 30, 2006

Treasure yourself?

What I discover or try to is the deepest emotions, what you call as instincts, so it rather does not have anything to do with how you behave in society, or how you might want others to percieve you... Then it goes a level higher! What I am trying to find out is our deepest thoughts and how they originate! I hope it answers my readers on my earlier lectures!

So how come I am treasuring myself? Why should I? When my thoughts don't go above the maslow's hierarchy pyramid's lowest floor... which is instinctive needs! Food, Shelter and Clothing! But when I really think of it, in some of my other writings, I have gone into spirituality and love, desire all on various floors of the pyramid!

So am I being opportunistic in trying to avoid a comment on my earlier post? Not really, the first paragraph is specifically to my last post! So now I discover something, that my thoughts are really wandering ones... not simply the name!

This thought came to me when I was travelling last day, I just looked up at the sky without my glasses (yeah I do wear one... not the big rimmed nerd brand ones, although I sound like one!), I wondered when I couldn't see the stars clearly, five years before when I had perfect eyesight, then I never even thought how precious they were!

Today I miss it... not able to see a charming young female walk on the other side of the street without gallelio's help! More so... now it is only shortsightedness, what if I need them to read? Ohhhhhhhh that will be a real pain! Although I need to wear them all the time, but I will be not have a choice... like now!

So I started wondering... what if I turn completely blind? Who will care for me? What if I am handicapped in someway in one fine day?(Now that can't be called a really fine day), Will the people who think so highly of me (yeah they do... I am not all that bad at work or in love!), will they be there for me?

If I think seriously, might be the ones I love, surely will stay along... but the people at work? For them I will be junk! They will throw me out as easily as a dysfunctional computer or a printer... where a change of catridge will cost as much as a the printer itself, or an upgrade of the chip will yield not much of results!

So now I think... am I insured enough? Yeah now this is not an advertisement for any insurance company? but it is just to realise... do we understand our worth? How will we support our loved ones when we are incapable? What is our fallback plan? I have learned in many negotiation skills classes about a fallback plan... A plan which will give you comfort and strength to negotiate, which means, what if I don't get what I want from this negotiation, what can I fall back on... Although I handle 5-10 negotiations a month for my company... do I have a fallback option for myself?

When I am negotiating my whole life, and life of many others who love me... Do I have a fallback option with which I can be comfortable, if my source of income stops completely one day?

When I think about it... it gets more and more tense... because I realise, I had never understood my real worth, hence I have never insured myself enough! My advise... Ponder! For a minute or two... just treasure yourself!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

An ant is never an achiever!

A way of thinking, is called a perspective... a view is called a perspective, to see what is in front of you is your thought! Your vision, but that same thing can be your greatest strength and weakness too!

I have heard many a sucess stories of people who have achieved all from nothing... But then I wonder? Is it disproportionately blown up, or are they real achievers? By the size of achievements people have made, by seeing their future is huge... I have to believe that the results are not blown up, nor is the comparison, as from where he started and where he has ended!

Now then what can be the reason? I have always felt, why people like me are non achievers are because I am like an ant! I work in a colony, surrounded and supported by my co workers, and I am happy of my daily share of food, shelter and protection! I will never want to loose all what I have! Although it is debatable as to what I have now, is something that cannot be foregone for what I can achieve!

Then I understand... like all ants I am also a prey of the Middle class syndrome! I have a secure job, a secure life, and I don't want to take risks! So is that the reason that the poorest of the poor get to be richest one day, might be because he has nothing to loose!

Or I am wrong in thinking.. but then it is a vicious circle, might be because I think like this I feel I have a lot to loose and that man on the street has nothing to loose (even a begger I have heard feels territorial, feeling if he looses the area he was begging daily, he might loose his fair share of revenue).

Might be that is why, I like the ant can never be an achiever... because like an ant I can see only 2 dimensions, and a ladder put vertically in the third dimension in front of me, I might never see it as an opportunity to grow, because I know only my two dimensions, and I really don't know what the third is!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Computer games and my addiction?

So, another two days passes on without any visitors to my blog, well now I have turned so shameless that I have advertised it on my emailing group, so that atleast by that someone will peep in!

So lets get to today's topic without further delay, by the way why do I have to keep on discussing and discovering, I really don't know... but then as I said... everyday is a discovery, so I keep my efforts on!

So when I first saw this little thing which could be called a computer game console... I took an instant liking to it! It was the earliest version, an old nintendo, but then not until I had seen the History channel recently, I didn't realise that I was also a part of the whole gaming buffs who had laid their hands on the "tennis game" of nintendo, or rather that way a part of History! I used to spend shamelessly hours in my neighbours place, gaming away to glory!

Then came another better version, which had a game list which counted in thousands... again in another neighbours place, shamelessly gaming away to even greater glory!

It was not until I got one in our house that I started realising shamefully as to how shameless I was... Now that is an irony! But then... Shame is such a thing, that will make you even ashamed about your own shamelessness! Now that is even more irony!

Anyways so that goes the story how I took to gaming... But why was I so hooked? Or why are all of us so hooked? WhenI personally "ponder" I wonder, Is it because I am able to do all what I can't do in my real life? I personally am a fan of the first person shooting or adventure games... I like to kill evil people, I like to fly airplanes, drive trains, driving a F1 car, a GP500 Bike and what not! All things I couldn't do in this life... and somethings that I can never do with any life like Killing red faced, bulb head Aliens, Green puke Mutants, and also riding on top of a dragon, or saving a princess!

Should be because we are all so fixated with fantasising that it reaches levels which can only be called shameful! So... At the end of all this I wonder, should I have named this blog as shame??

So lets hope there will be a time when these games will be full fledged virtual reality, better than today's "playstations" or "XBox's" wherein we might have "Playstadiums" and "XRooms" (by the way these two trademarks are coined by me, hence registered automatically through this blog, and one against it can come and do a sword fight with me while I ride on a dragon... might be the guys who wants to challenge me, will be a Pumpkin headed mutant riding on an ant!),

And hope that all of us guys are blessed with more shameless indulgence!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Why do I choose my colors?

When someone is upto something, you never know... but when he has done something repelling then he is upto his true colors! When you have achieved something he is said to have come out from it with Flying colors!

When I write a prologue to match a thought in my mind, it usually stinks... like this one above! So let me get to what I want to tell you about! I wanted to talk to you all today about Colors! By the way - "all"?? My readership has dwindled to a low minute figure of, yeah you guessed it right "zero!"

My first blog was read by one, the next zero! Now that is some color, whether flying or drowing that I don't like!

So let us get to the topic which I was "pondering" about! Like in the steven spielberg produced cartoon serial "Pinky and the Brain", where the intelligent mice, the brain who wants to take over the world one day.. asks his accomplice, the mice called Pinky... about his plans to take over the world and asks..."Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky replies "I think so Brain, but . . ." The result is always utterly nonsense anwer to the context given, indicating that Pinky was in no way pondering what Brain was pondering. So my friends...

I think the same is the case with us, I can assure you, none of you are pondering what I am pondering!

I was just pondering after my big lectures on philosopy of life, love, revenge and god and devil...Why in the world do I choose lighter color shirt, and a darker color pants? Or why do all of us? How many times do we wear a cream pants with a dark shirt? Count them on your fingers... and I am sure it will end before your digits end!

By digits I mean your fingers, the number by the way adds upto ten... until and unless you have some mutation! By that I would like to add that there is a digital analysis done for swelling of your prostrate gland... by the way that gland is near your prostrate and the only way you can access is through your prostrate (rear)... So it is not all that hitech, but imagine you are a cow in a vetinary college waiting for the trainee doc's to do digital examination with their long rubber glows... Ooouch! I hope you get the general idea!

So why do we choose these colors? I think or rather from now on I ponder... that it should be because of my being a diurnal animal (Yeah, even I had to try theasarus, to find the opposite of nocturnal!) We are always used to seeing the surroundings like that... the sky and the earth! Always the sky is bright and and the earth dark! Might be that is why when I am going for a party I wear the the opposite, then I am nocturnal! Am I trying a camouflage? or trying to merge in?

My friend who is an expert in blogging says I shouldn't stretch it too long.. yeah not simply called a blog and not a novel!

So guys.. I hope now you have seen my true colors, and I think I have come out of it with flying colors! Or rather I have put everything in Black and white... There is no grey areas! Or rather I have tickled your grey cells... now I am stretching too long! Hope all you guys will be in the Pink of your health!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Devil? An Evil or a Trusted servant of God?

First of all let me reply to the only reader who has been kind enough to read through my Post!

For a start... Let me say, He has got me hooked... Although I am a fresh blogger, now he has really got me hooked! He has kindled the devil in me! The devil seeking fame, name, and also materialistic pleasures (Which might sometime be fulfilled when I become a great writer and start my own site... Where all the other bloggers might drop in to read my revelations on truth, love, life, purpose and all the other words in the dictionary!)

Purpose of life is not a day to day phenomenon! When my purpose today is to earn a living and to provide for my family, the day after it might be to might be join the army and fight for my country! But for today if I think that my purpose is only to fight and die for my country, then what about my family? If it is only to provide for my family, what about my country?

When someone knows his purpose of life.. usually it ends up in death... Sacrifice is the name given for it... Might be because we call it the supreme offering? People die as Jehadi's because they think their purpose of life is to fight the evil and to avenge the death of their loved ones, People die in love, and then it is called that he found his purpose in life! Might be I am wrong?

Like I said... Every day is a discovery? and my purpose of life is surely that... but is it all I do, is it the only purpose? If it was then what is the point to live on... so my life goes on because I am still discovering the purpose of life! Or else I am long gone!

Now that I have given some more thoughts... I think I have stirred the devil in all of you to succeed and think more than I do?

So what is devil or who is he?

There are two paths in life they say... One the good path, which leads you to heaven and god... The other the bad.. which leads you to hell and Devil!

So...Lets start analysing this issue... If I was a worshipper of devil.. Then I would walk the wrong and be punished to hell... and if I am nice man, god fearing, then I will receive hell! Now let us understand who controls hell and heaven.. God is in heaven, and Devil is in hell...

I know god is no politician, as someone who is as strong as him needs no politics to stay in his chair! But devil... The poor devil that he is... needs to do a lot of coaxing and campagning to get people to be with him, or rather follow his path! After all this when someone joins his path, we can call it the "devil's lifestyle", Then the devil himself will punish you for joining his party! How strange?

Is devil a fool? Poor devil that he is... I think whatever he might be, he is not a fool, after all he has managed to co-exist with the supreme power, "God" for so long, the all knowing, all pervasive god... So he is not an idiot anyways.. his IQ should be as good as, or near to the god's!

Another point to be considered before we reach any conclusion... God is remembered by all when the devil creates trouble in the world.. like the terrorists all over the world, even though some of then call themselves the preachers of god, still try and create havoc! Or when some man steals another man's life savings... the poor exploited one thinks of god! So devil is the proverbial "Essential Devil", so that people will remember god in his sorrows...

So after all this, I wonder? Is devil collaborating with god? Or is devil a simple servant of god... Who has been projected as equally powerful as god, but has to punish his own devlish little followers to no ends.. even making them boil in cauldrons... and burning them to ashes again and again?

So after all he is a servant... of his wishful master.. god! And why? Is god politically trying to align us to his path? reminding us of what lies ahead if we don't follow his path? Or is it that they are two sides of coin? "I still wonder... and I hope, what the devil! If only I could find out what god is!"

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Why the name?

Dear all...

The first question you would always wonder when you see this blog is why the name? Why not Edmond Dantes, and why Edmond Dante? That is because, I took to blogging late, and there was someone else who liked Mr. Edmond Dantes, who later on became the count of Monte Cristo, as much as me!

I had to have this name to my blog, or a fair resemblance, as I wanted it to show my wandering thoughts, like Dantes, who was all alone in a jail for half of his life... We are all prisoners in our own lonliness, even when we are in a party, emprisoned by our attitude, our inferiority complex, our superiority complex, our desires, our failures, our achievements, everything in our life emprisons us! So I think I really needed this name to find a way to freedom!

This was one fiction story I would have preferred to be true... A man's true strength is about the will to do something!

And that will is more so negative than positive... His strengths are more when he is under a kind of stress! What kind of stress can it be?

All who say that love is the best mover are in a way true... It moves, but the directions achieved is never coherent!

But when you are moved by revenge, your achievements have purpose... a sense which always allows you to succeed.

I am not someone who supports revenge or vengeance as a philosophy, but the Fiction "The Count of Monte Cristo" is a true tribute to what not can a man achieve by revenge!

At the same time the sense of purpose is completely momentous when you think of it as a means for your revenge... Like in the novel, the protoganist has nothing in his life to live for, once he has achieved his revenge... Only because he has nothing to live on.. or rather nothing to love on...

So people I would only find it by posting this blog as an answer to the purpose of life... It is never for revenge, it is never for love... It is only for the purpose of life... and what is that? I think it takes more than a single blog to answer that... but let me understand with you that it is a mixture of lot of things... like always each and every one of these blogs will only try to interpret them, but never will we find an answer, you can expect it to go on, because if someone says he knows the purpose of his life, he is not fit to live!

Every day is a discovery... every thought a philosophy.. and that is when life is life!

So guys get set to read my small but simple thoughts on life.. most of them will be blabber, most of them without meaning, some might call it philosophy.. but I would prefer to call it a journey of discovery!

And if in the end if I am a bit more better than anyone else reading this, then I will stop writing, because then I will have be out preaching and not sharing!

Love you guys... all you unknown faces who read me are the best thing which happened to my life and my best recognition.. and if you keep on reading I will give you all a chocolate icecream or a chicken piece, as if you are reading this expecting no rewards, then you should be crazy like me!

So it is a recognition to me that even though I am weird writing this stuff, but then there are many others who are as crazy as me to read all the crazyness that I am writing! STOP!!! I know it is going far... now I am loosing my rating! Sorry you are intelligent beings who are trying to find purpose of life and understanding it like me!

Will try to be more interesting next time.. if "more" is a word which is relative in sense, then... then take that it will be exponentially interesting as I know how boring I have been this time!